The Girl
My name is Alexis and I am a twenty one year old female originally from Gary, IN but I currenly live at Purdue Univeristy!! (Go Boilers!)
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Christina Aguliera - Keep On Singing My Song
...written on Wednesday, Jan. 12, 2005, @ 6:28 AM
"Revelations” – dedicated to KT
For months, I was content
With all of the bullshit I was dealing with
I used to think that you were fly
And that there were just some ‘issues’ between you and I
So I tried to stay to make things work
But the more I stayed the more things hurt
I had been attracted to you for a long while
I liked everything about you, especially your smile
I had a crush on your birthmark and your scar
I didn’t care how ugly they were; I liked you for who you are.
My only problem to you was your drinking
Because you’d start saying shit without thinking
Or you’d blow up and get mad over nothing
And want to fight with me like it’s something
Even when others discouraged me still being even just a friend
I really didn’t want things for us to end
I prayed that things would improve, someday
And they did when I had moved, away
We had time for ourselves to be free
We had time to think things through fully
I wasn’t pressuring you and you weren’t stressing me
We were both able to be ourselves and had time to really see
As that happened things got better and started going good
I would come to see you and we’d ‘be together’ like we should
But now, it’s been some months and I’ve caught ‘the case’
And I know I’m not the only one because I can see it in your face
Maybe it was the time apart that made us misses each other
So it was the time together that made us appreciate one another
As we sleep ‘spooned up’, you’d hold my hand
Many of the times, I’d watch you sleep-that you don’t understand
I’d look at your blank expression to find answers
I wanted to know about all of the other hers
I started to not being able to stand the thought of it
Because for so long, you were the only one I’ve been dealing with
Nobody exactly came close to you
They didn’t move me like you do
They couldn’t capture my heart
Nobody could now tare us apart
You were so special to me
And I started to care about you dangerously
I felt the words wanting to come to surface
But I felt my feelings inside on purpose
I didn’t know exactly how you would react
To me saying something like that
So I concealed my feelings deliberately
Until maybe whenever you decided to approach me
That way it would be easier for to just agree
Admit that I had been feeling the same
But was afraid of all the others, what’s her name?
Nevertheless, that just wasn’t true
Because I think I had fallen in love with you
Now, don’t get it twisted because I never was jealous
Just like you didn’t like me being around no other fellas.
I never considered another broad to be a threat to me
But enquiring minds wanted to know so I asked to see
Instead you got angry and said it was preposterous
Said it was stupid, and asked why I asked you this
When I tried to explain how I should be the one for you
You told me that this was something you can’t do
Said that your heart couldn’t handle missing me
Without even having a way for you to be seeing me
An argument broke out and my feelings were exposed
I guess me saying anything at all was a bad idea, I suppose
Because after arguing about what you and I couldn’t handle
Just like that-we were a burned out candle
You hung up on me, and I held the phone and cried
For some odd reason, I felt as though my heard had died
I thought that you were just being selfish and didn’t consider me
But no, you were just being yourself and now I see
No matter what I did for you to make you happy
It did just that and had nothing to do with me
It filled your heart up temporarily
And I wanted to do it permanently
It’s been almost a week and you haven’t called to apologize
For hurting my heart and leaving me with tears in my eyes
I still don’t understand how things could have gotten so far
If you wasn’t really able to give away your heart
Because even though you say you do care about me
I truly beg to differ the way you care about me, so carelessly
You only care about me when it’s convenient for you
But love is 24/7, I thought you knew
It is not something that is developed over night
It is not something that is there only because it feels right
It’s not something that you choose to have; it comes on its own
And that night, I tried to explain this to you on the phone
But the revelation came to me then and forced me to see
That it was not possible for you to ever truly love me.
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