The Girl
My name is Alexis and I am a twenty one year old female originally from Gary, IN but I currenly live at Purdue Univeristy!! (Go Boilers!)
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My diary, my space, my rights. Don't like what you see? Feel free to hit that little X up there. Thanks.
Beyonce & Kelly - Had Your Way
...written on Sunday, Nov. 28, 2004, @ 10:59 PM
I'm tired yawl. I'm so tired that even if I slept for ten hours or more, I would still be tired. As I say tired, I am not speaking of the physical because I am well rested. I'm speaking of the mental, I am speaking on behalf of the debths of my heart in which they cry because the feelings of my love are hurt. Broken into pieces I am, and as I re-collect the pieces of my heart which are scattered all over the ground, I cry endlessly. For the pain of each crack has not yet healed for they are still fresh from the last and I am the only one to hold my aching body and suffer though each painful memory with stupidity. How dare he? How dare YOU! How dare me? How dare us? Most importantly, how dare the day I met him because I wish I hadn't selfishly. No, not everyday was bitter yet not everyday was sweet. But, in the meantime, each day in between was something captivating rather they were good or bad and now I have memories I am forced to have to deal with as something always reminds me of him... and rather those days for six months were good or bad, guess what... they have become a part of me, he has become a part of me, we have become a part of me and now US is no longer apart of me. We were destroyed by lies covered from top to bottom. We were destroyed by wind because our foundation was built upon bullshit that couldn't withstand more bullshit. We simply weren't shit proofed. I tried to make it happened, I tried to make it work, but you see, he neglected this relationship from day one when he lied to me about his past, present, and his future with me. He lied to me about the number of kids he had(s), he lied to me about his relationship status, I mean, he was mean and cruel the way he lied to me about how he felt about me... He lied to me... and now, I'm trying to walk away from it all and yet I still want to know why????... Rodney was right, I must have been real naive if I didn't see this shit coming.
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