The Girl
My name is Alexis and I am a twenty one year old female originally from Gary, IN but I currenly live at Purdue Univeristy!! (Go Boilers!)
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Christina Aguilera - Make Over
...written on Tuesday, Mar. 08, 2005, @ 5:59 PM
Depression is sinking in, and I've faught so hard to not cry today as I have once again, failed another exam here at Purdue University. I don't know what I am going to do. I cannot afford to get anymore "f's" or retake anymore classes. At times, I feel so stupid or incompentant of conquering this shit and the sad part is that I know this information. I just can't take test! I fail them every time! Once again, I've ran into a financial strain,; I've only got $140 for my birthday. So now, I'm trying to find a job to pay for my basic needs, attend school, and stay active in the extra curricular activities. I just feel so stupid! Sadly, yesterday when this sadness overcame me, I called my strength, KT who informed me that everything was going to be alright and if he makes it then I can too, but I can't do this anymore. My heart can't take it anymore, especially when I study and help others study to conquer the material and I am still failing. I just don't understand how can I fail, yet teach others to pass. In addition to my academic sadness, I watched a video in my women's health class that was about a college professor who was dying of cancer. I guess that was God's way of saying that there is always worse off than you are but I am just overwhelmed with my unsuccessful attempts to do well. I have never done this poor before in my life; my mother tried to encourage me by saying that, " any 'C' at Purdue is better than any 'A' at JCSU," but at least my hardwork and preporation didn't go unseen. I feel like such a loser.
Dear God,
Please don't let my depression set back in.
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